Shana Martin
Before You Say I Do
Congratulations!
We rejoice with you in your anticipation of a Christian marriage. We want to partner with you in the preparations for your wedding and marriage. The time you spend during your engagement should be viewed as an investment in the life you will live together. This process will take from six to twelve months to complete.
At Petra we believe:
• That marriage has been instituted by God, and symbolizes the relationship between Jesus Christ and His church (Genesis 2 and Ephesians 5).
• That healthy marriages are so important that we want to do all we can to ensure that couples enter into and sustain marriage based upon the principles of the Word of God.
Petra Guidelines
1. We value the permanence of marriage.
It is the desire of the pastoral leadership at Petra that your marriage models the biblical relationship between Jesus Christ and the church, a covenant relationship characterized by joy, intimacy, and permanence.
2. A minimum of a one-year dating relationship is recommended before engagement.
Even though some people have the skills and maturity to build a committed relationship sooner than others, there are no shortcuts to building intimacy, trust, and communication.
3. We recommend that anyone who has been divorced join the New Beginnings Divorce Recovery Group.
This seminar is offered several times a year. If it has been less than three years since your divorce, we require that you take this course. If it has been more than three years, we strongly recommend your taking the course. It is important that you get as much understanding and healing as possible from the pain of your previous marriage breakup.
4. We value spiritual unity in marriage.
We value the spiritual lives of the couples we marry. 2 Corinthians 6:4 teaches that a person should not be “unequally yoked to unbelievers”. We therefore cannot marry a couple if they are “unequally yoked” spiritually, meaning that they do not share the same faith. Both people must have surrendered their lives to Jesus Christ as Lord and Savior, be committed to establishing a Christian home, and pursue an ongoing relationship with Christ.
5. We value the biblical definition of purity.
We expect a couple to remain sexually pure and not live together before marriage. Following this standard will also help guard against divorce, because research has found that couples who live together before marriage have a higher divorce rate than those who do not.
6. We value the integration and inter-connectedness of couples in our congregation.
We believe the church is called to be involved with a couple’s life in an encouraging and supportive way. Even though the couple’s vows are to each other, therefore private in one sense, we believe that wise couples reach out for support in many ways. We perform weddings only for those who attend Petra.
7. We require each couple to receive pre-marital counseling.
These guidelines have been created based upon Petra’s belief in God’s plan for marriage, and are meant to encourage, protect, and strengthen the couple’s commitment to Christ. We recognize, however, that the nature of interpersonal relations and individual levels of maturity vary with each individual; therefore, there may be some exceptions to these guidelines. These exceptions will be determined on an individual basis by our pastors.
Steps to Your Planning
To begin the pre-marital counseling track, you need to call the church receptionist and see if the date you desire for your wedding is available. If it is, she will send out a packet of materials for you to complete. After you have filled out these materials, you will again call the church receptionist to arrange for the initial interview with Pastor Titus Kauffman.
If your wedding plans are approved, Pastor Titus will arrange with a trained couple from the congregation to do the next seven pre-marital sessions. These sessions will cover subjects such as personalities, marital expectations, loving relationships, communication, finances, sexual relationship, etc. These sessions usually run about an hour to an hour and a half. Assignments will be given, which are to be completed before the next session.
The last session will be led by the pastor who is officiating your wedding. This session may also include the wedding coordinator. The pastor will want to be certain the ceremony is well planned, the vows are chosen, and so on. Please note that you are free to choose the pastor and the wedding coordinator you would like, if they are available.
The $250 rental fee for the Sanctuary includes the use of the kitchen and a room for the rehearsal meal; the services of a wedding coordinator; an audio tech; and cleaning staff. This information is outlined in greater detail in the Wedding Packet you will receive from the receptionist.
God bless you as you give special preparation to your wedding day, and to your marriage!